From Pai to Koh Pha Ngan

Made it down from Pai to Chiang Mai, where I had 3 hours to kill before taking the sleeper bus (overnight) to Bangkok. I had arranged to meet John Schmidt, a friend of my friend Gretchen back in Austin. I've never met John but seeing as he is from Austin we both thought it would be nice to meet someone from the home town, so to speak. Having failed twice to meet each other the last two times I passed through Chiang Mai (for various reasons), this meeting seemed like it was going to happen. However, it was pouring rain on the day (26th Dec) and John couldn't make it into town on his motorbike to visit me. So we have now agreed to arrange NOT to meet next time both of us are in the same country. That way, we will be presumably guaranteed to see each other.

Chiang Mai to Bkk by sleeper bus ("VIP") is a journey begun in apprehension, ignorance and fear - you turn up at the tour operator's office, wait to be transported to an undisclosed location to get on the bus, and there is no knowing ahead of time (no matter what they promise) whether the chairs will recline/ you'll have a blanket to cover you/ water to drink/ curtains on the windows to block out the passing street lights, et c. The booking agents have the benefit (for them) of little "Engrish" so they'll say 'yes' to whatever you ask. You could ask if you will have your own private bar, masseuse and sauna on the bus and they'd give you the same inordinately bored look and response that they do to every question: "yeysss, hah prywet bah/ mass-ah/ sow-nah"...

So, it was with trepidation that I mounted the sang-thaew (covered pickup truck used for most public transport journeys around cities) along with about 6 people too many for the space there was, and was taken off to the "VIP" bus. Now, there is a lot of debate among travellers as to what 'VIP' stands for. (certainly doesn't stand for Very Important Person, as it typically does). In my opinion it stands for Varying Idioms of Passage or Vehicle In Progress. In fact the second option describes it best, in a truthful manner: it is a vehicle, and for most of the time it IS in progress. That is, when it is not stopped to visit the driver's aunty(s) coffee shop en route/ refuel/ stop for the driver to pick up some smokes et c.
The bus is a double decker, so bags go in on the ground floor, and there is the driver's cockpit - as such - a toilet and sometimes a few seats downstairs also.

I was blessed with 2 seats to myself on the upper deck, but having been promised recliner seats I can tell you that the last time the 40-year-old seat holding up my bum had reclined successfully was many years ago. I spent an uncomfortable 12 hours on those 2 seats (unlike most of my fellow passengers who passed the night on one), subjected to Thai karaoke on the bus television for approximately 2 hours at one point. Why they would put Karaoke on in the middle of the night while people are (making their best attempt at) sleeping is anyone's guess and why it would be in Thai, given that ALL the passengers were falang (foreign) is beyond comprehension. I personally think it is the Thai sense of humour and no doubt they were doubled up in stitches downstairs in the cockpit of the bus....! I kind of hope they were - it would be a shame if all that hilarity was for nothing.

Arrived in Bkk at 5am and had to kill time until a decent time (8am or so) when my regular guesthouse would be open. Went for coffee with a lovely Australian woman and then dragged myself to Villa Guest house. A sight for sore, tired eyes.

After spending 36 hours in Bangkok (which in my 'umble opinion is more than enough) I hit off on another 14 hour, overnight Very Impotent Passenger bus to Surat Thani; From there I would take the ferry back over to Koh Pha Ngan to spend new year's eve with my friends Pam and Nipa. I spent my first 10 days of travelling here so I thought this would be a great way to 'bookend' the trip.

Many travellers had warned me about the VIP buses having one of their 'drivers' stashed in the luggage compartment so that over the course of the 12 hour journey he can leisurely go through all the bags, removing valuables, equipment, passports, et c. Well it's true. I had nothing in particular of value in my rucksack but it had very clearly been dug through when I got it back at the dropoff point at Surat Thani. It was 6am and with only one hour of sleep behind me (and behind most of the other passengers too, judging by the vacant stares), we were not the sharpest in terms of checking our luggage. An hour had passed before I looked into my bag for an item I needed. It was then I realised that my bag had been rifled through. The straps were all done up again, carefully concealing the (potential) damage and when I looked inside the top of my rucksack, both drawstrings were undone and the strap was unfastened. Thankfully there was nothing of value in my pack to thieves. Other people weren't as lucky - one woman (seriously, what was she thinking?!) had her passport in her rucksack - yes, in the luggage compartment! - and that was now gone. The bus had driven off as soon as they had unloaded passengers and bags so there was no complaining that could be done. Equally, the tour operators book with the bus companies so they have no responsibility for what goes on on the bus.

Travellers be warned!