Caving in Vang Vieng, Laos

OK - off to explore some caves today with my latest travelling buddies, Mal and Barbara from Australia. We got a tuk-tuk out to Than Nam (River Cave), 13 km away from the alcoholic frenzy in town, and went into 3 caves which are impossible to find without a guide. One presented himself to us when we arrived at the first cave (unremarkable) and without negotiating a price, he just wandered off and motioned us to follow him. Which we did. To the second cave where he wanted 20,000 kip per person per cave. Now, $1 is 8,400 kip (just to calm you down!) so this is not an inordinate amount, but this is what we coloquially refer to in Ireland as 'fleecing the tourist'. So we gave him 15,000 kip for bringing us to the second cave (as we wouldn't have found it without him) and said 'goodbye'.

This cave was stunning - walked for an hour inside and still didn't get to the end (where apparently there is a swimming pool underground!) with our own torches. These caves are totally untouched - no lights, no guides, no bloody souvenir shops - deadly! It was a real thrill to be navigating our own way (easily!) through these huge caves without the constant drone of a spotty teenager repeating the same dull, uninspired script that they have rattled off for 200 days in a row: " anontheleft we have a formationthawecall 'Lincoln's nose' causeilookslie Lincoln's nose. Ifuwakkuphere abidfurthur, we have the 'potato' formation. That's called the 'potato' formation causeilookslie a potato....ma'am, MA'AM, I SAID DON'T TOUCH THE WALLS!!!" et c. (this script is taken directly from the caves south of Austin).

Have managed to give myself piles (how does one do that??) and had to go to the pharmacy here in Vang Vieng in Laos - a country where 80% of their roads are unpaved, need I remind you?! - and ask for cream for hemorrhoids. That in itself was hilarious, embarassing and self-admiration-inducing, but when I managed to get myself understood and got the cream home I found the instructions were written in Laos (of course - what else would they be written in, duh!), so then had to go to the internet cafe and in FULL PUBLIC VIEW google 'HEMORRHOID CREAM' to find out how to use it! Argh!!!Needless to say I am leaving town tomorrow. On the 5am bus.
Before anyone sees me.